My life would never be the same, without the 2 of you.
Love you guys.
Thanks for everything we shared!

Just pretend... you never knew

I'm shocked, I'm sad... but I don't know why!
I doubt its jealousy, and I doubt its judgement.
Maybe its care, or concern, or paranoia... that brought me to this stage.
But I realized, I never needed to know everything.
Learn to respect secrets, cos they speak for themselves.

The good times were over, perhaps its only me feeling this way.
But I cherished every moment spent those days.
I don't know about you, but I hoped you did.
Now that it's gone, or rather, I feel that its gone...
I accept it.
For good things always come to an end.
Since I enjoyed every moment spent, in that relationship with you,
I have no regrets.
Accepting it is the next step.
I know your pain, your problems you're going through.
Maybe not all, or maybe none at all.
I'll still be around though, just that I'll back down.

An overly intuitive mind, a far too curious me,
Thats my biggest problem.
Perhaps all is caused by disappointment,
Disappointment that shouldn have been created.
Disappointment due to expectations, due to knowing.

I guess right now, I'll just pretend.
Pretend I never knew.
And forever, choose not to know.

After waitering for 3 days, and recieving money after every day at work, I understand how much my parents went through to bring me up, providing for me everything. The luxuries I wanted, they got for me. I realize its not easy. They were self-less. Their salary used up not on themselves, but on me... and I am so thankful for them. Money ain't that easy to earn... But it certainly is so easy to spend. I'm scared... I can't be like them, cos its so hard. There certainly is something different between the 2 generations. The previous was self-less. The present is self-fish. Anyway, I have to learn to be self-less... for its better to give, than to recieve.

Tomorrow, the boss doesnt need me. He has enough manpower. I thought of going to Queensway, in search of my pair of dear Teva shoes which I cant seem to find at World Of Sports. Their having some offer now at World of Sports, and Teva is a very very good buy! I definitely wanna get a pair before the offer ends. Im certain the pair of shoes can last me for at least 5 years, in terms of wear and tear... I have faith it can last even longer than that, just that my taste will change in less than 5 years. = (
Thought of returning back to SA since its nearby also, and with work schedule, I'll have lesser time to slot that agenda in. However... ... I suddenly feel afraid of askin him whether he's free tmr or not. I have a hunch he's uninterested. sigh. Maybe its just me. I dunno... I just have that hunch. I hope that its just me, hope that there aint any friction between us...

Just met up with Shaun yesterday. Was so happy finally can meet up... after 2 years of MSNing, finally get to talk to him. Its really a miracle how we got to know each other. The most unexpected ways, and we ended up being such good friends in the end. We feel comfortable opening up to each other, no barriers. Hmmm, I only have 2 such friends who are this close to me. Its just such a great blessing to have them both. = )

He's in the army now, but dun really like it there. Hmmm, who likes being in the army anyway? I think im looking forward to it though. hahaha... Now everyone's out for the moment, cos of hari raya... MSN nicks are flooded with army stuff.. -_- Next time when im outta camp and in gatherings, I'll always remember what one of my gal friends said... Dun crowd with the guys and talk abt army stuff, leaving the girls to group by themselves and talk bout other things. Yeah...

I like this phrase shaun sent to me...

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? I thought I was the only one." -C.S. Lewis

Just resigned from my job today. Partly because i cannot imagine myself saying the same line for the next 12 weeks. It has only been 1 week and I already cannot find the motivation to pick up that phone and repeat the same old routine. Another reason... cos I discovered that the company aint exactly what they told me they are. Dun wanna be related to any of this sorta thing.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to another job. Yeah, Only got 3 months, might as well try as many jobs as i can. Pay is secondary, experience is the main focus. Maybe i'll go try work at breeks next week onwards. Hope they need part-time staff.

I havent been down at the gym for a long long long time. Maybe i'll wake up early tmr and make my way down. Should I swim also? Think i'll go rent a vcd too... or i'll practically do nothing at home.

I'll Stand By You

Heard this song over the radio today at work. Although the lyrics aint exactly the message i mean, the Title speaks it all. I'll stand by you, I promise.

So if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you
When you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along’cause even if you’re wrong
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you

A season of rest, for the weary soul

Was reading thru my 'secret diary'. Heh, now its no longer a secret. lol

Just some collection of my feelings and thoughts, mostly sad ones...for memories sake. It brought back emotions so fresh, so clear.

I'm troubled and sad. Wish I could do something and help this friend I really love. Wish I could help relief the pain and the weariness for him... but I can't. Only to God can I commit. I'll have faith. God will do something... something. Perhaps all these is for HIS glory. God please bless him like You blessed me.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I got a job!!! yayy... ok. Its a rather dumb job though. Just call people and make appointments for some fair. Actually, its just asking them to come and stay for awhile, be a little thick skin, ignore the sales people there and after that, take your free gifts and zhao. Yeah, that simple. Well, but i dun think everyone out there in the world is that gian as me... ahhaha. Not so desperate for free gifts. Well, the S'porean blood is running thru me, not my fault! But really, where can u find such things... stay for an hour plus and you get some portable VCD/CD/mp3 player for free.... plus other vouchers, discounts and more. hmmmm
Will never forget one call I made today.

Me: Hello, may I please speak to ____ ?(fill in a name)

Recipient: Huh?! ____ si liao lar! kar diang wey hor yi chuea si mi??

Hmm, how do you respond to that?

Yesterday, got one confirmed appointment. Beginners luck eh. Maybe its just to motivate me. And today i got none. Hmphh... Well, i still have 68 more days to work. 2 days and its so tiring already. Haha.. cant imagine the rest of the days. Just call n call n call n call... .... Ears are growing bigger by the days...

Hmm, its only been a short while. Not even a week. I seriously think i havent gotten over you yet. Yikes... I have nothing to say. Just need to keep myself busy, and emotions under control, or history will repeat itself again.

I dunno whats wrong with me. I'm losing a hold of myself in some area... God help me, before it gets outta hand.

Emotions

This is one hard thing to understand. Well, its the thing that makes us human too... Hmm. I wonder is it possible for anyone to be able to control his emotions totally. Thats inhuman isnt it?

Matters of the heart is another one darn hard thing to understand. Nah, im not in love... just pondering. Maybe i'm too free. lol
Love and crushes can cause you to do real stupid stuff, or do rash acts or say words you only mean to at that moment... all because of emotions. And how do you forget a person once you breakup, or when both are never meant to be together? Hmmz... Maybe time is the answer, but time is way too long. Are humans made to be in control of their emotions?

Feeling kinda down inside now = ( Something's botherin me... A close friend of mine is having kinda a rough time now, maybe that's why i'm feeling like that. He's going through what feels so close to me, cos I went through that path a short time back. The feelings of it so fresh. And it sucks. I don't profess to be some experienced expert in this, cos I too have no idea how to deal with it better. I'm just so glad I'm closer to getting out of it. And I really wish everything for him could be just back to normal, just at the command of his lips, but it aint possible. I wanna help, but I dont know how. Maybe that's why I'm feeling blue...

McDermott

McDermott MG-21

Now I'm eyeing on this... o_o Just love the simple design and deep colour, and the butt is so unique. McDermott...